Funny Poem for a 70 Year Old Man
Funny Birthday Poems
Look here for funny birthday poems. Free funny happy birthday poems to tickle your funny bone.
This funny Birthday poem, in free verse, details some of the day-after fallout from a birthday celebration. It's a funny birthday greeting card verse to which some readers can personally relate!
The Day After Your Birthday
The day after your birthday,
you look in the mirror to see:
a) you've got a zit from eating all that cake;
b) your love handles have expanded a half inch;
c) you singed your eyebrows blowing out the candles.
The day after your birthday,
a) you require six extra hours of sleep;
b) you can't find your living room under the birthday debris;
c) you wonder how you could possibly have done THAT.
The day after your birthday, it's time to:
a) return some gifts (what IS that, anyway?);
b) call your friends and apologize for yesterday;
c) get out of the country, fast.
The day after your birthday...
we should all look so great
and have it so good!
Happy Birthday!
Appreciate yourself and your life!
By Joanna Fuchs
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Does anyone really have birthday celebrations like the one described in this funny birthday poem? I hope not!
Birthday Invasion
Here they come, with birthday cheer,
Bringing gifts just once a year,
People you don't even like;
You really wish they'd take a hike.
This should be a glad occasion;
But it seems more like a SWAT invasion.
Go away! Just take a break!
Oh well, at least there's birthday cake.
By Joanna Fuchs
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This page of Funny Birthday Poems
General, all-purpose Birthday Poems
Birthday Love Poems
Dad Birthday Poems
Mother Birthday Poems
This funny birthday poem reflects on the passing years.
Funny birthday poems can play on words.
Half Baked
On your birthday, it's time to reflect,
For the passing of time leads to change.
What once was important we leave;
Our priorities and goals rearrange.
It's official; you've lived one more year.
You're birthday gifted and caked,
But don't think you're fully mature,
'Cause you're really only half-baked!
By Joanna Fuchs
Author's Choice
Funny birthday greeting card poetry often mentions birthday cake. This funny birthday poem is for fitness freaks and calorie counters!
A Birthday Workout
Hike across green Ireland;
Bike the USA;
Backpack through New Zealand,
But don't call it a day…
Do yoga in lovely Paris;
Jump rope in Katmandu;
Avoid Italian pasta,
(Well, maybe taste, but don't you chew!)
Climb atop Mt. Everest;
Do aerobics on China's Wall;
Lift weights on Mexican Beaches;
And honey, that's not all…
Shake your booty with native dances
In Fiji and Bora Bora;
Move your body and exercise
Like you've never done befora.
Okay; that's good; you're finished;
Now you can take a break;
You've finally burned enough calories
To have your birthday cake!
By Joanna Fuchs
More Funny Birthday Poems
Many funny greeting card wishes center on advancing age. These "Over the Hill" funny birthday verses are popular, so this funny birthday poem makes light of getting older.
Getting Older Birthday
It's birthday time again I see;
Another year's gone by.
We're older than we used to be;
The thought could make me cry.
For getting older is not such fun,
When there's hurting in your back,
And it's agony if you have to run,
And a pleasure to lie in the sack.
Yes getting older is quite a bore,
But to not get old is worse.
So "Happy Birthday!" let's shout once more,
And to heck with our ride in the hearse!
Hooray for getting older! Happy Birthday and many more.
By Karl Fuchs
This free funny birthday poem is for a baby's birthday.
Baby Power
Being born was great for me,
Though I can't recall the chore,
But every year I'm pleased to see,
That it's me they all adore.
My mom and dad stay close to me;
They claim to know me well;
They're proud to know a celebrity,
And me, I know they're swell.
They celebrate, they laugh and sing,
And gifts on me they shower;
must have done a wondrous thing,
My birthday cries, BABY POWER!
By Karl Fuchs
Funny 40th Birthday Poem
Here's another over the hill funny birthday poem. This 40th birthday poem is meant to be light and funny. If you don't think so, or if you find it offensive, please let me know!
Over The Hill At Forty
So it's your fortieth birthday;
Four decades have gone and passed.
They say when you get older,
Time goes twice as fast.
I wouldn't know, of course,
Since I am still quite young,
But for you, the music is over;
Your last song has been sung.
You're just over the hill at forty;
You went down without a fight.
Time rushes on, and soon
That "hill" will be out of sight!
Happy Birthday Anyway!
By Joanna Fuchs
This funny birthday poem, a rhyming poem, reminds us that each person is "famous" and important in the lives of people who love them. It's a funny greeting card saying that relies on U.S. history for it's message.
Famous Birthday
Columbus was a famous man;
Einstein was one, too.
They were known to all, but then,
Along came you.
Davy Crockett, he could hunt;
Betsy Ross could sew,
But your fine qualities outshine them all;
You're the greatest one we know.
To us, your name will always charm;
Your features we'll never forget.
You'll always be special and famous to us;
May your birthday be your best one yet!
By Karl and Joanna Fuchs
This free funny birthday poem for a child is for a kid who wants more!
But Why?
On this day you blow the candles out;
On this day the gifts pile high;
For one day a year you're the special kid;
"This is really great," you sigh.
"One birthday a year is really fun;
I want two! I can't? But why?"
By Karl Fuchs
This funny birthday poem centers on the fact that many people drink too much at parties.
Birthday Bash
If you want to be a big smash,
Don't go drunk to your own birthday bash.
You'll make a mistake,
Fall into your cake,
And lose all your friends in a flash.
If you pick apart each thoughtful gift,
Your fall from grace will be swift.
They'll call you a jerk,
A real piece of work,
Partygoers will frown and be miffed.
Be sure to be at your best;
So you won't end your party depressed.
Just put on a smile;
Everyone you'll beguile,
And your party will really be blessed.
By Joanna Fuchs
Funny birthday poems can have an underlying sentimental message. Some funny birthday poems are written for specific family members. This funny mother birthday poem is written for a beloved mom.
To Mom from Her Pesky Kid
I really love my mother,
And it surely makes me proud,
To know I'm one of her pesky kids,
And to sing her praises loud.
My mother has a birthday,
Almost every year,
And on that day she'll ponder life,
And even shed a tear.
See, Ma don't like her birthdays;
She says they make her old,
But she's as sharp as she ever was,
If the truth be told.
My mother showed me lots of things,
About the world, you see,
So then I could teach my pesky kids,
The things my mom taught me.
Thank goodness for you, mom. Where would I be without you?
Happy Birthday!
By Karl Fuchs
Over the hill funny birthday poems are very popular, but this one is just the reverse. This funny birthday poem is written for a mature person to give to someone a lot younger, hopefully in a good relationship, where the recipient will just laugh, instead of being insulted.
Stop Fighting Me, and
Oh Yeah, Happy Birthday
I'm old enough and therefore wise;
With age our brains grow bigger in size.
So I wish for you a long, long life,
So your brain can grow bigger and stop causing strife.
And although we often disagree,
There's a strong hope that I can see,
For it's birthday time; a year has passed;
Your brain is getting bigger fast.
Before too long, your bulb may light;
No longer will you want to fight,
Because when you have a brighter mind,
It will be easier for us to think in kind.
With each year you live your thinking grows stronger,
And that's why I wish you'll live a whole lot longer.
Happy Birthday!
By Karl Fuchs
Funny birthday poems often refer to the age of the recipient. This birthday poem is designed for one older man to send to another. Karl likes to write these; there's another one on the general birthday page. I think he's writing them to himself. I said to him, "Honey," women send most of the cards, and the age factor really limits the audience for this poem." Here it is anyway, for those of you to whom it applies.
Birthday Reminder
It's your birthday, so don't feel down;
Don't think bad stuff and frown;
Your life should be filled with mirth;
Just look what you've done since your birth.
You started out really small,
Now you're really filled out and tall.
In the beginning you would just cry,
Now you can laugh if you try.
You've done quite well since your start,
So as you grow older take heart;
Keep up the good work and don't be a jerk;
Stay happy till you're an old fart.
By Karl Fuchs
Curious about the Christian religion? What is Christianity?
What is a Christian? What is Christian faith?
To see the answers and find out how to become a Christian,
check out this Web site.
Funny birthday verst can be about the birthday gifts and how inappropriate they are, as in this free verse funny birthday poem.
Grateful for Regifting
You're old enough to have
everything you need
plus a lot of what you want,
so some of your birthday gifts are weird,
because no one knows what to get for you.
The toaster that makes toast with your face on it.
A birthday message
etched in a large piece of beef jerky.
Chocolate covered ants, mmm…so crunchy!"
Earbuds that look like elf ears.
Then there's the pimple-popping toy,
looks like a flesh-colored bar of soap with bumps.
When you press those bumps, out comes…eewww!
I could go on, but…
it's time for you to start regifting.
Happy Birthday!
By Joanna Fuchs
There are a lot of searches for a birthday prayer, so I wrote this funny birthday greeting card message as a prayer that includes wishes for laughter, smiles and happiness.
A Funny Birthday Prayer
On your birthday,
I pray that you will always
have laughter in your life.
I pray that I will often
have the privilege and joy
of seeing you smile.
I pray that you
will be easily amused
and find life funny
instead of crazy.
I pray that this birthday
finds you peaceful and happy.
In Jesus' name I pray; amen.
By Joanna Fuchs
More Birthday Poems
See All Five of Our Birthday Pages
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Mother Birthday Poems
Birthday Love Poems
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